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Deliri di un vecchio giovane » 2007» July
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Archive for July, 2007

Week in Review (22-07-2007/28-07-2007)

Saturday, July 28th, 2007

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Eccoci qui all’ormai consueto appuntamento settimanale con la Week in Review, l’elenco delle recensioni dei film e delle serie TV viste nel corso della settimana appena passata. Purtroppo, improvvisi impegni di traduzione non mi hanno dato la possibilità di parlare, a metà settimana, come promesso, del concerto di Elio e le Storie Tese che sono andato a vedere una decina di giorni fa, ma cercherò di farlo non appena questo lavoro dai tempi strettissimi mi darà un po’ di tregua. Avrei voluto parlare anche della prima infornata di pilot della nuova stagione televisiva che ho avuto modo di vedere (sorprendentemente, tutti abbastanza buoni/discreti, ma non eccezionali come alcuni di quelli visti negli ultimi tre anni), della continua serie di vittorie a Dr. Why o dei curriculum inviati, ma mai arrivati, oppure giunti a destinazione ma cestinati all’istante, ma ne parlerò prossimamente. Per ora, non mi rimane altro che augurarvi una buona lettura. :)

The Lookout (2007) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

Writer Scott Frank’s directing debut is a very interesting noir, one of this year’s best movies, at least until now. The Lookout is the story of a young guy, who gets mentally impaired because of a car accident, being so forced to change completely his life. He starts working alongside a blind man as cleaner in a bank, but he’s also befriended by a mysterious man he meets in a bar, who says they’ve been classmates, but also asks our guy to join him in robbing the bank where he’s actually working. Twists and turns are the central element of the movie, extremely well acted by Joseph Gordon Levitt and Jeff Daniels, but also by their castmates Matthew Goode and Isla Fisher (very effective, even in roles who are not comedic). Director shows, unlike several other writers turned film-makers, he’s been learning a lot from all the directors he’s worked with. The Lookout is a must see, especially if you’re a thriller buff.

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TMNT (2007) - Voto/Rating: 6/10

Another symbol of the 80’s (even if they’ve acquired major success at the beginning of the 90’s) came back to theatres this years. They are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, now full-CG in a low budget animated movie co-produced by Warner Bros. and Weinstein Company. There’s no Shredder anymore, but there are other villains who will force the turtles, mentored again by their great master Splinter and helped by their old friends April and Casey Jones, now living together, to rejoin and fight the ones who want to conquer the world. A good voice acting (the turtles are voiced by their original voices, while other characters are played by Chris Evans, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ian McKellen, Zhang ZiYi and Laurence Fishburne), an interesting screenplay and a few spectacular scenes are the highlights of this production, not so bright when it comes to animation or direction. However, the movie is quite good, and I’m sure both fans (I’m talking about people who were 10/15 years old at the beginning of the 90’s) and non-fans will like it.

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Wild Hogs (2007) - Voto/Rating: 6/10

Comedies like Wild Hogs are usually totally spoiled in trailers, where their best, and very often, funny bits are shown. Fortunately, Walt Becker’s movie has some more gags and laughing moments, at least in its first 80 minutes, because it ends with the classic unbearable sugar-coated ending. Wild Hogs is the story of four middle-class friends, bored of their lives, who decide to embark into a motorcycle road trip. This will result in very funny situations, a little bit of romance, and the usual rants about friendship and so on. Becker has been able to make the most from his four leads: John Travolta, William H. Macy, Tim Allen and Martin Lawrence. Travolta and Macy really stand out, with Allen and Lawrence doing their usual characters, outperformed by Ray Liotta and John C. McGinley, both hilarious in their roles (Marisa Tomei is instead William Macy’s love interest). Good movie. It has a few flaws, but it’s still really enjoyable.

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Live Free or Die Hard (2007) - Voto/Rating: 6/10

Sequels realized several years after the last episode are usually very bad ideas. I had very low expectations for Live Free or Die Hard (a.k.a. Die Hard 4.0 here in Europe), but I’m happy to say the movie is not the complete disaster I predicted. Invincible and invulnerable policeman hero John McClane must now fight, with a young hacker, against cyberterrorists who threatened to send back United States and the whole world to stone age, causing havoc in every part of the planet. Justin Long is the unlikely sidekick of Bruce Willis in this adventure, and stars alongside Timothy Olyphant as the villain, the gorgeous Maggie Q, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and even Italian soap opera actor Edoardo Costa (he’s one of the baddies with more screen time, and he’s also the last baddie dying). Len Wiseman’s direction is absolutely not on par with John McTiernan’s (unlike what Bruce Willis says, I still think that Michael Bay would have pulled out an action masterpiece), with very few inspired and inventive scenes. The screenplay, as it was very easy to predict, almost doesn’t exist, but that’s not an issue, because the movie is really fun. Maybe it’s just a little over the top in the last half hour (I don’t want to spoil anything, you’ll see what I’m referring to when you’re gonna watch it), but still extremely fun. A good summer movie, that makes me think another sequel wouldn’t be a bad idea. Just do it without Len Wiseman, please.

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Surf’s Up (2007) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

CG-animated mockumentary about surfing penguins, Surf’s Up has been a real surprise for me. Technically astounding, with a great voice acting (Shia LaBoeuf stars alongside Jeff Bridges, James Woods, Zooey Deschanel and many others), extremely funny characters (the surfing chicken voiced by Jon Heder is exhilarating) and scenes, lots of humour and a perfect soundtrack are this movie’s positive elements. It’s a pity it hasn’t been marketed properly by Sony, because it could have been, in my opinion, a great cash cow for the studio. I’m absolutely buying it on DVD or in an HD format as soon as it’s released, because it’s the only animated movie released in 2007 who fully convinced me (I’m sure I’ll really like Ratatouille too, but I haven’t seen it yet).

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28 Weeks Later (2007) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

28 Days Later follow-up is a very interesting movie, whose story takes off where the previous movie ended, with people prepared to come back to their homes, in a London not so deserted as we had seen a few years ago. But another outbreak is ready to start again, with even worse consequences than the first one. I didn’t have many expectations for this sequel when it was announced, but after seeing the first trailer I started to change idea. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo is a very talented director and has been a really good choice to helm this movie. The way he decided to shoot it, with lots of flashy cuts, handheld shots, several dark scenes, really conveys the sense of terror and fear that flicks like this one should have. Even focusing the story on the two children has been an extremely good choice, especially considering the way the story had ended. Great movie, I enjoyed it a lot. It doesn’t deserve a rating of 8, because it has a few flaws in the script, but it’s a great popcorn movie, you should absolutely see in theatres as soon as it’s released.

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Les Anges Exterminateurs (2006) - Voto/Rating: 5/10

French erotic dramas are very odd movies. Some of them, like Catherine Breillat’s A Ma Soeur, reviewed here a few weeks ago, get to a certain point, even if it’s quite hard to decode. Some others, like Les Anges Exterminateurs, seem really pointless, because you’re not able to understand where the director wants to go. This is the story of a porn director who’s searching for girls for his next movie. In his auditions, young women strip and start masturbating themselves while confessing their most strange desires and fantasies. Lesbian sex in two, but also in a threesome, are the other things the porn director likes to see in front of his camera. After watching the movie, I started wondering what was the point of everything I’ve been seen in the previous 90 minutes. I haven’t been able to give myself an answer. Sex scenes are also the only highlight of Les Anges Exterminateurs. They’re extremely erotic and graphic, but also shot in a very tasteful way, with an incredibly pounding soundtrack that makes them even more erotic, letting me say that they’re the best sex scenes I’ve seen in quite a while (I’m not saying this because there are only women, believe me). Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is utter crap.

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Week in Review (15-07-2007/21-07-2007)

Saturday, July 21st, 2007

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Eccoci quindi al terzo appuntamento con la Week in Review, relativa ai film ed alle serie TV viste nell’ultima settimana. Il viaggio a Roma che dovevo fare ad inizio settimana è stato fatto (partito alle 7 da Cervia e tornato a casa alle 21.30, con 9 ore passate a bordo della mia Fiat Punto 1.3 Multijet), mentre quello a Milano previsto per Lunedì 23 e Martedì 24 è stato annullato (ho saputo che fine hanno fatto certi miei curriculum e, come dicevo, non è stata una bella fine). Per fortuna, in questo periodo, è arrivato qualche lavoretto interessante da fare, ma nessuna delle chiamate che avrei voluto ricevere (ho saputo da fonti certe che dal 31 Agosto si libererà un posto a cui ambisco in una delle aziende a cui ho mandato il curriculum… vedremo se riceverò la chiamata o se, quasi sicuramente, non verrò considerato come al solito :D ). Nel frattempo, buona lettura. :)

Disturbia (2007) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

This Rear Window-esque thriller is predictable as hell, but it’s also really suspenseful and fun to watch. Man of the year Shia LaBoeuf stars as Kale, a boy who, after losing his father in an accident, punched one of his teachers in the face. House-jailed, he spends his time watching what happens in neighbor homes. After knowing a beautiful girl, Ashley (hottie Sarah Roemer) who just moved in the neighborhood, he starts watching, with his new friend, another neighbor, Robert Turner (David Morse), suspecting he’s a serial killer. Director D.J. Caruso (The Salton Sea, Taking Lives) did a wonderful job, shooting this movie, based on a really unoriginal and predictable script, in a very good way. He’s able to gradually build suspense and make you forget about those many flaws in the screenplay. Disturbia is the perfect summer thriller, fun and entertaining, well acted and directed (I would have never thought to say something like this about D.J. Caruso).

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Macbeth (2006) - Voto/Rating: 5/10

Romper Stomper’s director Geoffrey Wright tries following his fellow countryman Baz Luhrmann with another modernized version of a William Shakespeare’s opera. Unlike Romeo + Juliet, his Macbeth is a very uninspired piece of movie, visually striking but really incoherent and disconnected plot-wise. Sam Worthington (you’ll see him in the upcoming James Cameron’s Avatar) effectively plays the title role and leads a cast composed by mainly Australian actors (people like Steve Bastoni, Matt Doran and Lachy Hulme, starred in the two Matrix sequels). It’s a pity he’s the only one who can carry a decent acting performance, without losing himself in the terrible screenplay. Missed chance.

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El Día de la Bestia (1995) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

Alex De La Iglesia is probably one of the most original Spanish directors. His second movie, El Dìa de la Bestia, is a supernatural story about the coming of the Antichrist, set in modern-day Madrid, where a priest, an heavy-metal fan and a TV showman decide to join their forces to find the location where the son of Satan is going to be born, and kill him. Shot with a very low budget, the movie is really original and fun, showing once again that European are able to create entertaining movies who could face, if properly marketed, American multi-million productions. Why can’t we do movies like this one here in Italy (El Dia de la Bestia also stars two Italian actors, Armando De Razza and Maria Grazia Cucinotta, and an Italian TV host, Gianni Ippoliti)? Must see, if you like the genre and if you’ve never been able to catch it.

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And Now for Something Completely Different (1971) - Voto/Rating: 6/10

This Monty Python movie, made up of various skits of different length, is a masterpiece for those who love British humor and John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle and others. This is just a good movie, funny in parts, for those who, like me, are not great supporters of this legendary British comedy group. And Now for Something Completely Different has extremely laughable moments (one of the first skits was really exhilarating), but also too many flaws. Let’s just say, unlike The Meaning of Life, it suffers because there are very loose connections between the different skits, and so, has virtually no plot. As I already said, Monty Python lovers consider it a masterpiece. I just think it’s a quite funny movie, but nothing exceptional.

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Ho Voglia di Te (2007) - Voto/Rating: 3/10

Based on Federico Moccia’s best-seller, Ho Voglia di Te is the sequel of the popular 3 Metri Sopra il Cielo. The story is still focused on the rebellious Step, back to Italy after spending two years in the USA. He falls in love with Gin, a new girl he meets as soon as he’s got home, but he’s not able to resist to his old girlfriend Babi, the first great love of his life. This is Italian commercial cinema at its best (for production values) and at its worst (for artistic values). Ho Voglia di Te is a product targeted to teens, who crowded theatres to watch the new romantic adventures of their beloved characters. Everyone else will just see bad acting, cheesy writing, no direction whatsoever and lots of other bad things. The only good elements are the beautiful Laura Chiatti, who really shines every time she’s on screen, and the soundtrack, aimed to teens as the movie, but also including masterpieces as Iggy Pop’s The Passenger and good songs as Tiziano Ferro’s Ti Scatterò una Foto. This is an under 20 movie, so don’t watch it if you’re older.

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Sennen Joyû (Millennium Actress) (2001) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

Satoshi Kon’s Millennium Actress is a good movie, visually amazing as usual and very interesting story-wise. This animated flick is a about a reporter who’s able to interview an old actress, retired thirty years before. The woman will start talking about her life, what she did and why she became an actress. Compared to his recent Tokyo Godfathers (a comedy) and Paprika (a sci-fi/fantastic movie), Millennium Actress is much more real in terms of storytelling. It’s a drama and I’m sure you’ll like it even if you can’t stand Japanese animated movies.

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Evan Almighty (2007) - Voto/Rating: 4/10

It’s really worrying when the funniest part of a movie are its end titles. I don’t know what Universal execs were thinking when they greenlighted this aptly expensive train wreck (it costed 175 milion $, 25 more than Transformers). If Bruce Almighty, at least in the first hour, was a real comedy gem, this useless sequel makes you laugh only in a few bits, you’ve already probably seen in trailers (what ads don’t show you, not even for a split second, is the last half hour of the movie). Evan Almighty stars the great Steve Carell (you know he’s one of the American comedians I really adore, alongside Will Ferrell) as the newscaster elected congressman Evan Baxter, who is “contacted” by God (Morgan Freeman, who appears on screen for just a few minutes) to build an Ark to save animals and humans from an upcoming flood. As I already said, laughs are concentrated in the first half hour, because afterwards the movie becomes sort of a religious epic, with badly-integrated visual effects. Carell does what he can with the terrible Steve Oedekerk script he’s been handled, Gilmore Girls’ beautiful Lauren Graham (as Evan’s wife) looks completely wrong in her role and has no chemistry with her on-screen husband and John Goodman (as the “villain”) is not able to steal the show because he’s given very few screen time. Evan Almighty flopped badly at US box-office, and it probably won’t recoup his tremendous costs (you also have to add at least 50 millions of marketing expenses to the official 175 millions $ cost). Let’s hope who greenlighted this utter mess gets fired and kicked out of Hollywood for the rest of his life.

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Mr. Brooks (2007) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

An unusual Kevin Costner plays the title character’s role, a successful businessman, extremely bored by his life, who starts following his conscience (William Hurt) and killing people he doesn’t know. When his daughter will become pregnant, dropping out of school, and an unknown man who discovered what he did will follow him in his killing spree, Brooks’s life will change. This thriller has been quite a surprise for me. I would have never expected to see Kevin Costner in a role like this one. The movie, directed by Bruce A. Evans (Kuffs) is original, well written, stars a big cast (we have Demi Moore, Dane Cook, and lots of TV faces like CSI’s Marg Helgenberger, Shark’s Danielle Panabaker, 24’s Reiko Aylesworth and Sex & the City’s Jason Lewis, in support roles) and never gets boring. Even if it’s required quite a bit of suspension of disbelief to enjoy it fully, Mr. Brooks is, in my opinion, one of the best American thrillers we’ve seen in the last few years.

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Incomunicabilità: una brutta bestia

Wednesday, July 18th, 2007

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Domenica scorsa ho partecipato al classico pic-nic estivo con gli amici, sull’Appennino, in un terreno, di proprietà di uno di loro, vicino al lago. Di carne ce n’era a volontà, e si può dire che sia stato anche relativamente divertente, visto che, a differenza dell’ultimo anno (qualcuno era stato anche fermato al ritorno, perdendo la patente al ritorno), nessuno si è ubriacato, situazione dovuta probabilmente al fatto che diversi amici si siano anche portati dietro le ragazze. Si è chiacchierato parecchio e, sorprendentemente, molti dei discorsi non sono stati a senso unico, come accade di solito, cosa che mi ha fatto decisamente piacere. Il pomeriggio è trascorso molto tranquillo, tanto che per circa un’ora e mezza, quando almeno la metà dei partecipanti, mi sono messo le cuffie e mi sono un po’ isolato a pensare e riflettere (l’ambiente bucolico e rilassante aiuta parecchio), mentre le altre due coppie rimaste (ero andato su in macchina con loro, quindi non potevo smaterializzarmi, dovevo aspettare) si divertivano sdraiate tra l’erba (inutile che vi dica a fare cosa, ci si arriva da soli). Tutto stava andando bene ma, ovviamente, qualcosa doveva succedere. La più nuova del gruppo, ragazza di uno dei miei amici solo da pochi mesi, mentre stavamo caricando tutto in macchina, mi fa una domanda (le coppie sono A1-R1 ed A2-R2, io sono F):

R1: Cosa hai detto a Radio Deejay?
F: Nulla di importante. Comunque, trovi tutto su Internet, il filmato è facile da rintracciare (tento di schivare il discorso, ma per motivi diversi da quelli che si potrebbero pensare).

Una volta saliti in macchina, dopo pochi secondi, la ragazza ricomincia.

R1: Ma è vero che sei vergine?
F: Sì (mentire non era possibile, vista la presenza di altre tre persone che avrebbero tranquillamente potuto smentire la mia affermazione falsa)

Piccola premessa. Io sono una persona che parla tranquillamente di qualunque cosa, anche di argomenti scomodi (almeno per me stesso), come può essere quello del discorso in questione. Mi piace chiacchierare e discutere, e questo è risaputo. Mi dà fastidio parlare solo quando sono già perfettamente a conoscenza di come finirà la conversazione, ossia che, qualunque cosa dirò, dall’altra parte non verrà recepita (per la solita questione del non riuscire a vedere più in là del proprio naso), e si finirà il discorso completamente arroccati sulle proprie posizioni. Uno spreco di fiato, quindi. Una situazione di incomunicabilità, che è il tema di questo post. Però, vuoi per educazione, vuoi per masochismo, non mi sono sottratto alla discussione.

R1: Ma perché sei vergine? Per scelta?
F: Sono vergine perché non ho ancora trovato una ragazza con cui stare bene e che si sentisse allo stesso modo nei miei confronti. Una brava ragazza con cui poter dialogare, passare del “quality time”, come si dice in inglese. Credo sia un concetto molto semplice, no?
A1: Ma cosa vuol dire brava ragazza? Una che scopi solo con te (alla discussione partecipa ovviamente anche uno degli amici, quello che aveva detto alla sua morosa del filmato su Radio Deejay. Ovviamente, ogni cosa viene detta a scopo denigratorio)?
F: Secondo te? Se una è la tua ragazza deve scopare con gli altri? Ti potrei quasi dire, paradossalmente, che se scopasse con altri me ne fregherebbe relativamente poco.
R1: Non è una bella cosa.
F: Infatti ho parlato di paradosso, per farvi capire che, a differenza vostra, quella per me non è la parte più importante del rapporto. Il concetto di brava ragazza è difficile da spiegare. Alla fine si riconduce tutto sempre allo stare bene con una persona, e via dicendo.
A1: Ma hai anche delle pretese? La vuoi gnocca come una modella?
F: Le uniche pretese che ho sono l’intelligenza e la simpatia. Quelle sono fondamentali. L’aspetto fisico conta relativamente.
R1: Quindi può anche essere la donna più brutta del mondo?
F: A tutto c’è un limite, ma non dico di no. Se la donna in questione è quella con cui sto meglio, sull’aspetto fisico posso anche chiudere un occhio, anche perchè, sinceramente, non sono Brad Pitt e quindi non è che possa pretendere chissà cosa. Le poche donne di cui mi sono invaghito finora non erano esattamente delle modelle, soprattutto fisicamente. Anzi, erano piuttosto pienotte e “polpose”, come piace dire a me. Io a un po’ di carne in più non dico di no, a differenza vostra (le morose dei due sono decisamente “scarne”). Mi dà più fiducia. Ovviamente, anche qui c’è un limite, ma non è necessariamente vincolante.
R1: Ma perché non ti scopi una cinese o un’ucraina (domanda che non c’entra una mazza con la precedente)?
F: Mi scoperei, come piace dire a voi, una cinese o un’ucraina se le incontrassi, le conoscessi e fossero effettivamente il tipo di ragazza che mi piace e che mi apprezza per quello che sono, non perché magari sia messo meglio di loro economicamente parlando. Non sono uno di quelli che vanno in un paese dell’est semplicemente per fare turismo sessuale, e per portarsi poi a casa magari la donna, non me ne frega proprio nulla.
R1: Non so come fai a non scopare… io non ci riuscirei.
F: Buon per te. Non avendo mai provato e non avendo fretta di provare, io ci riesco perfettamente. Come vedi, son qui. Magari vivo un po’ peggio di te, ma vivo lo stesso. E alla fine non è un dramma, i drammi sono ben altri.
R1: Ma se incontri una stragnocca che te la dà, le dici di no?
F: Se la stragnocca ha il cervello di uno stegosauro, probabilmente sì. Se la stragnocca è meritevole intellettualmente, magari prima cerco di instaurare un dialogo, vedo come possono andare le cose, e poi decido. A parte il fatto che ciò non può accadere per ovvie ragioni, quindi il problema non si pone.
R1: E perché non può accadere, scusa?
F: Mi hai visto? Non è difficile. E comunque, io sono una persona che, purtroppo, al primo contatto, non dà mai impressioni positive, praticamente mai. Lo hai visto tu stessa quando ci siamo conosciuti al compleanno di (nome omesso), Ho sentito che parlavi con il tuo moroso e dicevi “Chi è quello stronzo?” e via dicendo. Dopodiché, dalla volta dopo, hai cominciato a parlarmi e hai visto che non sono necessariamente così stronzo. Io non rendo al primo contatto, rendo sulla distanza. La gente, quasi sempre, quando mi vede per la prima volta, vorrebbe prendermi a mazzate sui denti. Dopo si rende conto che, però, sono meglio di quel che avevo fatto vedere. Io ho bisogno di stare sulla difensiva, di studiare chi ho davanti per capire come comportarmi. E’ per questo che sono così brutale e brusco la prima volta, è una necessità anche per capire se la persona che ho davanti ha un minimo di cervello o l’opposto. Motivo per cui, è molto più probabile fare 6 al Superenalotto che avere una stragnocca davanti che me la dia.
R1: Ma se te la desse, tu le diresti di no.
F: Può darsi. Ti spiego un’altra cosa. Tu stessa prima hai detto che in passato, spesso e volentieri, hai scopato solo per divertimento. A me questo non interessa. E siccome sono una persona che tende molto ad affezionarsi a chiunque gli dedichi un minimo d’attenzione, perché in casa mia, purtroppo, ho sempre avuto a che fare con gente molto fredda e via dicendo, la cosa non è esattamente la più indicata. Io in passato mi sono affezionato ad una ragazza semplicemente perché era la prima che mi telefonava a casa per chiedermi come stavo, cosa che è successa pochi anni fa, e dopo sono stato male tantissimo, per un sacco di mesi, quando ho scoperto di essere stato usato. Lei aveva capito che ero così e ha sfruttato la situazione a suo vantaggio. Mi capita di affezionarmi così semplicemente per una telefonata. Figurati cosa succederebbe con una che aprisse una volta le gambe per divertirsi, per poi non farsi più vedere o ignorarmi completamente. Sarebbe psicologicamente devastante.
R1: Allora ti presentiamo l’Ylenia (ennesima domanda che non c’entra una fava con quelle prima).
F: E’ una ragazza intelligente?
R1: Ha le tette grosse.
F: Ripeto. E’ intelligente?
R1: Ha le tette grosse.
F: Perfetto, puoi anche fare a meno di presentarmela.
R1: Io continuo a chiedermi come fai.
F: E io te l’ho già spiegato. Come vedi, sono qui. Se la trovo, bene, sono contento. Se non ho la fortuna di trovarla, chissenefrega, non è un dramma.
A2: Ma uno le situazioni per trovarla se le deve anche creare.
F: Più che andare in qualche locale, uscire più di prima e cose del genere non è che possa fare. I miracoli, purtroppo, non mi appartengono. Se poi uno, pur uscendo anche diverse volte la settimana, non ha la fortuna di trovarne nemmeno una, e viceversa, che ci deve fare? Mica è una tragedia. La tragedia la fate voi tutte le volte parlandone. Io ne farei volentieri a meno, perché intanto so già che alla fine non si arriverebbe a nulla.
R1: Ma visto che sei così gentile ed educato (altra domanda che non c’entra una fava), come la corteggeresti una donna?
F: Ma che ne so. E’ inutile starsi a fare dei trip mentali e chiedersi queste cose. Se capita, uno lo decide in quel momento. E’ inutile scriversi dei discorsi o immaginare dei comportamenti, che intanto, nel 99% dei casi, sono completamente diversi dal modo in cui uno si comporterà nella realtà.
R1: Ma di cosa parleresti con lei?
F: Ti rispondo come prima. Non lo so. Posso solo dirti che farei parlare lei, per capire cosa le piace e di cosa chiacchierare, e poi seguirei la conversazione. E’ inutile che mi metta a prendere io l’iniziativa nella conversazione, perché intanto, puntualmente, sbaglierei argomento, visto che purtroppo quando parlo, lo sapete come sono fatto.

Seguono una serie di botta e risposta ancora più inutili dei precedenti, passando sempre di palo in frasca, ripetendo cose già dette prima, come se non fossero state ascoltate o capite, per almeno una decina di minuti di viaggio (il viaggio di ritorno è durato 45 minuti). Riprendo dalla parte finale.

A1: Io lei l’ho conosciuta in discoteca. Mi sono avvicinato e le ho detto “Posso darti un morso sull’orecchio?”.
F: Ecco, vedi. A parte il fatto che sai perfettamente che io in discoteca non ci entrerei nemmeno se minacciato con una mitragliatrice. E sai bene come sono in discoteca, visto che l’unica volta che ho seguito te e gli altri due il Sabato sera, tre anni fa, c’eri pure tu. E hai visto che io mi fossilizzo attorno alla pista a braccia conserte, oppure mi siedo su un divanetto isolato da tutti, perché a me quei posti mettono a disagio, oltre a non darmi la possibilità di chiacchierare, visto il caos allucinante. E comunque, mi ci vedi a tentare un approccio del genere? Il cazzotto in faccia è assicurato.
A2: Ma le sdentate le devi prendere in considerazione.
F: Io prendo in considerazione solo quelle. Ma che siano psicologiche, non fisiche. Uno o cento no mi stanno bene, un cazzotto mi sta già molto meno bene. Ero alla tua festa di laurea quando ho provato a fare il simpatico con una, con una frase ad effetto simile, e mi sono beccato un bello schiaffone. Credo che se tu ci avessi provato così con (nome omesso), a quest’ora non sareste qui. Mi sbaglio?
R2: No, non ti sbagli.
F: Ma come vi siete conosciuti, che non ricordo più.
A2: Ero ad una festa di laurea, l’ho vista, ma non le ho detto nulla. Il giorno dopo, però, ho chiesto al festeggiato se poteva farmi avere il suo numero.
R2: Io il giorno dopo sono andata da (nome omesso) per prendere alcune cose che mi ero dimenticata lì, lui mi ha detto che (nome omesso) voleva il mio numero, e io gliel’ho fatto avere.
F: Scusami, ma non avevi detto che l’avevi cercata?
A2: Sì, infatti, l’ho chiamata al telefono.
F: Ah beh allora. Da questo racconto mi risulta che vi siate conosciuti alla festa, vi siate piaciuti reciprocamente, quindi al primo impatto. Altroché bisogna cercarsele, questo non è cercarsele. Questo è avere fortuna di aver trovato una donna a cui piacevi al primo impatto, cosa che a me non può succedere per quello che avevo detto prima. Comunque, recentemente, ad una festa, ci ho provato anche io con un paio di ragazze.
A2: Ah sì?
A1: Fermi tutti che voglio sentire.
F: Sì. Ho ascoltato di cosa stavano parlando e poi mi sono introdotto nella conversazione, e alla fine abbiamo parlato e scherzato per tutta la serata.
A1: E poi?
F: E poi non erano il tipo di ragazze che interessano a me. Queste cercavano solo divertimento, a differenza mia. Una in particolare, quella che mi attirava, poi, dava l’impressione di essere la classica maiala, come vi piace definirle. Quindi, nulla di fatto. Ma mi va bene lo stesso.
R1: Ma non è educato inserirsi nelle conversazioni altrui.
F: E uno cosa deve fare allora? Mettersi seduto in un angolo ed aspettare di trovare una compassionevole che venga lì e mi chieda come mi chiamo?
R1: Sì, sarebbe sicuramente meglio. Tanto la troverai anche tu una ragazza, come tutti (affermazione che non c’entra una fava con tutto il resto, e che mi ha portato a chiudere la conversazione con estremo tatto).
F: Se dici ancora una cosa del genere, TI DO’ FUOCO (ovviamente con tono abbastanza minaccioso). Preferisco l’onestà di chi mi dice che non la troverò, come i personaggi qua attorno, di chi mi dice cose simili. Affermazioni di questo tipo non mi fanno semplicemente incazzare, ben peggio.

E il silenzio regnò sovrano nell’auto per gli ultimi 15 minuti di viaggio. Un finale piuttosto brusco, certamente, ma ho preferito chiudere, forse un po’ in ritardo rispetto a quanto avrei dovuto fare, perché non si andava da nessuna parte.

Il punto del discorso è questo (ho riportato la conversazione perché mi piace dare un taglio un po’ più realistico a questi post). Quando sapete che l’interlocutore, intanto, non vi ascolterà e continuerà per la sua strada, su un suo binario predefinito, che si trova diametralmente opposto al vostro, che fate? Proseguite la conversazione? Chessò, per educazione, perché volete comunque tentare di comunicare qualcosa? Oppure interrompete a causa dell’incomunicabilità, dell’impossibilità di far capire all’altro quello che volete dire, perché intanto non riesce a vedere al di là del proprio naso e quello che succede a lui/lei è quello che deve succedere a tutti? E’ un po’ caotico come concetto, lo so, però non mi dispiacerebbe dibatterne nei commenti. Che ne dite? Come vi ponete nei confronti di queste persone?

Week in Review (08-07-2007/14-07-2007)

Saturday, July 14th, 2007

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Eccovi qui il secondo appuntamento con la Week in Review, contenente le recensioni, in Inglese, dei film visti nel corso di quest’ultima settimana. Ci si risente a metà settimana, al ritorno dal mio viaggio a Roma (devo andare a trovare un paio di persone) e prima di ripartire per Milano (devo andare a capire dove sono finiti certi curriculum che ho inviato, visto che qualche contatto in giro ce l’ho ancora, ma temo di conoscere già la risposta, che non è senza dubbio positiva).

Ah, poi questa sera (14/07) andrò pure a vedermi un bel concerto gratuito di Elio e le Storie Tese, che molto probabilmente, a quanto ho letto in giro, suoneranno diversi nuovi pezzi. Inutile dire che ve ne parlerò nelle settimane a venire. Buona lettura. :)

Transformers (2007) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

I love Michael Bay’s movies (except the first 70 and the last 80 minutes of Pearl Harbor - they’ve been deleted from my mind). They’re probably the only ones I’m able to watch with my brain off, without being picky on scripts, acting and so on, as I do with all other flicks. They’re like a guilty pleasure, something that’s able to let you have fun even when you’re sad or depressed. Seeing those explosions, those incredible car chases, those totally useless 360°’s, make me giggle like a child. And I should say the same about Transformers, a movie that sweats Michael Bay from every frame. I’m sure that if it had been directed by any other action director like Rob Cohen or Lee Tamahori, just to talk about a couple of people that shouldn’t be allowed to go behind a camera anymore, Transformers would have been really awful. Fortunately, this didn’t happen. Michael Bay has been able to forge a movie that’s extremely enjoyable, even if quite long (I would have excised a few scenes, not so useful in my opinion), fun to watch, with incredible visual effects (ILM deserves an Academy Award for its work on this movie), very campy humour, an epic soundtrack, an awkward but charismatic lead and a couple of stunning hotties (it would be difficult, if you had the chance, to choose between Megan Fox and the australian Rachael Taylor). This IS the real summer movie, entertaining, exciting and spectacular. But I’m sorry to say that Transformers is not the best Michael Bay movie. The Rock and Armageddon are way better, but it doesn’t matter. Just go watch it.

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“Hidden Palms” (2007) - Voto/Rating: 5/10

Kevin Williamson (Dawson’s Creek, Scream)’s Hidden Palms, looked, as already stated in my pilot review, like an interesting crossover between The O.C. (Taylor Handley and Michael Cassidy had been part of the first two seasons of Fox teen drama) and Desperate Housewives. After watching the 8 episodes that The CW ordered as a filler for the beginning of their summer season, I have to say the network took the right decision axing the show. I had hoped writers would start to develop characters since the second episode, but that didn’t happened. What we have is just another show with a glossy setting, cardboard characters (but Amber Heard is really hot, and that’s a fact), extremely predictable twists, an ending taken almost directly from Veronica Mars (cutie Tessa Thompson, Jackie Cook in recently canceled Kristen Bell’s show, appears here as one of the lead characters). I’m still wondering why Kevin Williamson, after his latest string of flops (I hated Dawson’s Creek and the Scream saga, but I have to admit they’ve been successful products), is still able to catch works in Tinseltown. That’s a very good question…

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Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) - Voto/Rating: 4/10

The second superhero sequel of the summer is even crappier than the terrible first episode. The Silver Surfer character and Jessica Alba’s spandex suits and hotness (even with those horrible contact lenses) are the only good elements of the 88-minutes (titles included) Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. There’s no plot, no character development, actors in there just for their paychecks (who could blame them?), uninspired new characters (except the Surfer, as already said at the beginning), swinging quality visual effects, and so on. Fortunately (for us), the movie didn’t cash what Fox expected. That would mean that a third episode is not so sure as it was before (the Silver Surfer movie, penned by J. M. Straczynski of Babylon 5 fame, has instead already been announced for 2009). Let’s hope they become business-savvy and avoid wasting money for another sequel.

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Believers (2007) (V) - Voto/Rating: 6/10

After the unexpected success of The Blair Witch Project, that granted him and his collaborators a hefty paycheck, Daniel Myrick started working on more ambitious projects, which shared just one element with his first movie: a low budget. Believers, starring Johnny Messner of The O.C. and Killer Instinct fame, deals with religious cults, fanatism and strange occurrences. The idea is interesting, but it’s badly executed, with a screenplay where confusion reigns, especially when the plot should be resolved. However, I’m promoting it, because I think mystery and mysticism lovers could really enjoy it.

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Are We Done Yet? (2007) - Voto/Rating: 2/10

If the first movie was a nice comedy, with its funny moments, this sequel is just unwatchable. That should be the Ice Cube curse, because every second episode where he’s in is extremely worse than the original. Are We Done Yet? is what the audience start asking after 20 minutes of this movie. Unfunny, uninspired, badly acted and written. It’s not even worth wasting any more words.

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“Boris” (2007) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

The first episodic TV show produced by the Italian branch of Rupert Murdoch’s Sky television, is an interesting sit-com that spoofs other soapy Italian TV productions. We’re introduced behind the scenes of a show called “Gli Occhi del Cuore”, where every character’s egoes reached really worrying sizes. Boris works because the writers have been able to remain faithful to their initial goal, creating surreal situations that could even probably be real on the sets of some TV and movie productions. I don’t know if we’ll be able to see a second season, but considering how good has been this first one, I really hope producers green light it as soon as possible.

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Sì, la vita è tutto un quiz… (Parte 12)

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007

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Visto che questa settimana (e nemmeno le prossime, siccome dovrò fare un paio di viaggetti a Roma e Milano per capire alcune cose connesse al lavoro ed ai famosi invii di curriculum senza risposta), molto probabilmente, non parteciperò a nessuna serata Dr. Why, vi racconto come sono andate le ultime due. A Lido Adriano, Mercoledì scorso, non è andata molto bene. Abbiamo vinto tutte le manche di qualificazione, ma siamo arrivati soltanto quarti in finale, a causa di alcuni errori davvero stupidi che si poteva benissimo evitare di fare. Ce ne siamo quindi andati a mani vuote, come non capitava da diverso tempo.

Fortunatamente, ci siamo rifatti con gli interessi lo scorso Venerdì a Milano Marittima. Peccato che, però, per giocare, sia stato costretto ad andare in uno di quei ristoranti i cui prezzi sono quelli tipici di una località “VIP-oriented” come quella in questione. Certo, il locale è davvero ad un tiro di schioppo da casa mia, ma se uno deve spendere quasi 20 Euro per una pizza poco farcita, una birra media ed un po’ di dolce, preferisco starmene a casa ed evitare di giocare, anche perché l’ambiente, poco “essere” e tutto apparenza ed ostentazione, soprattutto per quello che riguarda i giovani, non fa proprio per me. Tanto che, infatti, vincere le quattro manche di qualificazione è stato esageratamente facile (sono infatti state vinte tutte con almeno 2000 punti di vantaggio sulla seconda pulsantiera), e lo stesso dicasi per la finale (ce ne sono state addirittura due, ma alla seconda ho evitato di partecipare per non sembrare un cannibale, anche se quella gente se lo sarebbe meritato :D ). Per fortuna, il bottino è stato decisamente cospicuo, visto che mi sono portato a casa una maglietta, una bottiglia di birra, mi è stato offerto un sorbetto al caffè (che in quel ristorante costa 7 Euro, mica cotica) e, soprattutto, grazie alla scelta della busta giusta dopo la finale, una gustosa cena di pesce per due, che io e l’amico andremo a consumare prossimamente.

L’altra cosa guadagnata durante la serata è stata, come avevo accennato nell’ultimo post, un numero di telefono, che però non userò. Per qual motivo? Beh, molto semplicemente perché la ragazza a cui l’ho chiesto, e che me l’ha poi dato, non faceva per me. Viene quindi naturale chiedersi: perchè l’hai fatto? Per un motivo molto banale, ad essere sinceri, ossia per vedere se ero in grado di farlo. Ho cominciato a parlare con questa ragazza, piuttosto carina, ma ho visto che il livello celebrale era decisamente basso (per tutto il tempo ha parlato di Pineta, di divertirsi in locali simili, di cose trendy, di andare a prendere aperitivi in posti dove non andrei nemmeno sotto minaccia armata, tutta una serie di cose per cui avrebbe meritato la soppressione). Siccome per me la conversazione ed il dialogo sono tutto, nel rapporto con le persone, se non posso parlare decentemente tendo ad intristirmi, perché, come ho già detto più volte, per me fare una bella chiacchierata è la cosa più piacevole che ci sia. Qualcuno ha ovviamente obiettato (il mio amico, ma poi ci ha pensato lui) che avrei potuto scoparmela, ma siccome per me la cosa non è di primaria importanza quanto la possibilità di dialogare o di parlare, ho preferito lasciar perdere. Ma le ho comunque chiesto il numero, evitando di dare il mio in cambio, per vedere se ne ero in grado. Ci sono riuscito, e la cosa mi ha fatto decisamente piacere, perché vuol dire che anche questa barriera, ovviamente in certe condizioni, è stata infranta e, quindi, nel caso mi capiti di conoscere o di imbattermi in una ragazza che mi interessi davvero e che corrisponda a quello che cerco (chiedo solo un minimo di intelligenza e simpatia, il resto conta relativamente), non dovrei avere problemi a farmi avanti. Ho poi saputo che la ragazza che mi ha dato il numero, il giorno dopo, mi ha cercato, ma io avevo dato disposizione al mio amico (ci ha poi pensato lui a trombarla) di non dire nulla. Meglio così, quindi. Se questi sono stati gli effetti dell’ipnosi, direi che i soldi spesi sono stati davvero un buon investimento. :)

Week in Review (01-07-2007/07-07-2007)

Saturday, July 7th, 2007

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Il post in questione nasce per un paio di motivi. Per prima cosa, in molti mi hanno chiesto di tornare a recensire film e via dicendo, cosa che in realtà non ho mai smesso di fare, visto che ho semplicemente cambiato le modalità (e la lingua utilizzata per scrivere :D ). Ho quindi deciso di raggruppare tutti i commenti/recensioni dell’ultima settimana in un unico post, taggato a dovere, arricchito da trailer e clip presi in giro per la rete, in modo da rendere più facile la loro consultazione, siccome ho notato che il paginone che li contiene tutti e la colonna sul menu laterale che ne mostra cinque per volta non sono proprio comode a tutti. Il secondo motivo è più egoistico: siccome non ho molto da scrivere, o comunque, avrei sempre le stesse cose monotone da dire (potrei raccontare la serata di ieri a Dr. Why a Milano Marittima, in cui abbiamo praticamente sbancato, vincendo ben quattro premi, tra cui anche una cena di pesce per due persone, ed io sono pure riuscito ad ottenere il numero di telefono di una ragazza, che non userò… ma ne parlerò la prossima settimana :) ), questo è un modo perfetto per postare senza perdere troppo tempo, visto che si tratta di mettere semplicemente insieme cose già scritte. Non mi resta quindi altro che augurare una buona lettura. :)

Manuale d’Amore 2 (Capitoli Successivi) (2007) - Voto/Rating: 5/10

The first Manuale d’Amore has been one of the most successful Italian movies in the last few years. Its sequel shares the same episodic structure with the first movie and has also topped the box-office for several weeks, even being worse than the original. The first three episodes, dealing with eroticism, assisted conception and homosexual relationship and marriages, are too weak, with cardboard characters who often look like spoofs of real people. The only good episode is the last one, starring Carlo Verdone and the gorgeous Spanish beauty Elsa Pataky (Adrien Brody’s current squeeze), in the role of an important maitre’d who’s living a mid-life crisis and his beautiful young lover. Laughs are quite consistent for the whole movie, acting and direction are not bad, but the majority of the stories are really unsatisfying. I had higher expectations, and I’m very sorry to say it didn’t turn out as I hoped.

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Nero Bifamiliare (2007) - Voto/Rating: 4/10

Tiromancino frontman Federico Zampaglione’s directing debut is a bad movie, a mixture of comedy, thriller, drama and satire that doesn’t know which direction it must take, resulting in something that’s completely unsatisfying. Fortunately, acting is good, as the soundtrack (obviously by Tiromancino), but they’re not enough to save this train wreck from derailing.

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Jolly Blu (1998) - Voto/Rating: 3/10

There was a very popular movie genre in Italy, during the 60’s, called “musicarello”, which starred famous popstars and singers in plots and stories crafted on them with the purpose to let them sing their hits. Jolly Blu can be considered as the evolution of that genre, a long videoclip where every song has its lyrics in the bottom part of the screen (itìs not karaoke, they’re just subtitles) with narrative moments between a song and the next one. The movie is inspired to the real story of Max Pezzali, frontman of 883, went solo after his partner, Mauro Repetto, left the group in 1994 to pursue other interests. Music (the movie mainly features songs that were in the first two 883 CDs, their best ones) is the only good thing in the whole movie, where awful directing and extremely cheesy acting masterfully reign. See it just if you want to watch something that causes involuntary laughs. Otherwise, listen to Hanno Ucciso l’Uomo Ragno and Nord Sud Ovest Est. They’re both great CDs.

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“Day Break” (2006) - Voto/Rating: 7/10

This TV show is what could happen if you decide to mix Groundhog Day with a thriller and a little bit of action. Day Break was the mid-season show ABC decided to put in the Lost slot during the winter hiatus, yanking it from their schedule just after its sixth episode, broadcasting the remaining seven only on the next. That’s a pity, because the show is quite good and interesting, well written and acted, entertaining but also suspenseful. Taye Diggs stars as a policeman who is forced to live the same day again and again until he doesn’t discover how to unravel the conspiracy he’s been framed for. Even being a bit flawed, Day Break is really enjoyable and didn’t deserve the terrible fate it’s been condemned to by ABC execs.

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Spider-Man 3 (2007) - Voto/Rating: 4/10

The first threequel of the summer is a big step backward from the second episode and, let me say it, an utter piece of crap. This is what happens in Hollywood when you try to add too many characters and storylines to a movie, making it feel like a disconnected series of scenes, with some of them totally useless (the dance sequence, for example). It doesn’t matter if acting is improved from the previous episodes (except for the villains, but Thomas Haden Church is not Alfred Molina or Willem Dafoe); it doesn’t matter if Kirsten Dunst is really hot and the beautiful Bryce Dallas Howard, as Gwen Stacy, is tremendously hot; it doesn’t matter if visual effects got a little bit better, even if they still range from exceptional (for example, the sand simulation for Sandman is great) to exceptionally bad (e.g.: lots of flying sequences, horrible integration between background and foreground). The screenplay is just plain bad, the movie could have been shortened at least of 20 minutes, removing the totally useless whole Venom plotline, which could have been used in another sequel. Let’s hope that Sam Raimi decides to go back to the movies he’s suited for, small productions where he’s got free rein and he’s not controlled by studio honchos, leaving the Spider-Man franchise to someone new. I’m sure everyone would benefit by a choice like this: the audience will be able to see something that’s kind of fresh, and moreover, Raimi could go back to his roots, with movies like the ones we love so much. I didn’t have a lot of expectations for Spider-Man 3 and I was right, as always. :D

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